What can I do when my heart is torn between a man and a woman?

by Ashley


Rick Brentlinger Answers -


Ashley wrote: "I'm a Christian and I'm trying so hard to be straight but I can't find passion with a man and I can't find peace with a woman. Please help.

I pray and pray about it but I still have no answers. I have an amazing guy who loves me and an amazing woman who is in love with me.

My heart is torn. Any insight would be helpful."

There are several things which need to be addressed. First, you must come to terms with the fact that you are attracted to women. That might mean you are a lesbian or it might mean that you are simply finding your way and coming to terms with a heterosexuality which isn't sharply defined.

Either way is fine with God but no one else can reach a conclusion for you. Life is interesting because we must confront challenges and seek God in prayer for answers.

There are hundreds of pages of information on this website about being gay or lesbian. I encourage you to read and study so that you are familiar with what the Bible does and does not say on the subject of being lesbian. Second, you wrote:
"I have an amazing guy who loves me and an amazing woman who is in love with me. My heart is torn. Any insight would be helpful."
The essence of discovering your true self is not who loves you but who do you love? Your words indicate you are focusing on yourself, perhaps too much.

Which one are you in love with, your amazing guy or your amazing woman? Answering that question may help you arrive at a conclusion about yourself.
“For God so loved the world that He GAVE...” -John 3:16 God didn’t wait to see who would love Him!

Your love for the one who will be your partner should not be decided by your parents, your Christian friends or the expectations of your Pastor.

It is perfectly fine to be heterosexual or to be lesbian. You are what God made you so you can love and serve God either way. As you walk the path of God's purpose for your life, He will show you His will because He loves you with an everlasting love.

Here are Links
with related information


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Is there any evidence of an actual gay marriage in the Bible?

Is gay marriage scriptural?

What are some hints to know if I'm gay?

Getting saved is as easy as trusting Jesus.

Is it true I will go to hell because I'm a lesbian and how can I know for sure?

Does Romans 1:26 condemn lesbians?

Comments for What can I do when my heart is torn between a man and a woman?

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May 12, 2013
 Unequally Yoked
by: Terry

It wonderful to be in love ... and also a little tormenting. Your mind and heart go into overdrive, and that makes it hard to do deep soul searching and reach healthy conclusions.

I would suggest that there is a more important concern than either who loves you or what gender they are. You want to find a life partner that is passionate about their relationship with Jesus Christ. Avoid, at all costs, entering into a committed relationship with someone who does not know or love Jesus - they will eventually do everything they can to pull you away from Church, from Christians and from your primary love relationship with God.

There does not need to be an immediate resolution to the situation of who to join with. Remember, this is for a life-time. Explore each of these persons relationships with God, and explore your own feeling for each. If one loves God, and you decide you love the other, then neither is right for you. Never choose a life mate with the hope you can convert them - convert them first, and be sure the conversion is genuine.

Rick's comment: Amen!

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